The modern diviners

For as many as five thousand years, certain people have been able to make a living by their apparent skill in finding hidden underground water deposits. This skill is known, variously, as water witching, dowsing, and divining.
Nowadays, of course, we are less dependent on the skills of the diviners of water, although some do continue to practise. However, while water diviners are now largely obsolete, a new kind of diviner has taken their place. Because, I am happy to report, that there are among us men and women who possess a rare, and apparently mystical, ability to divine the presence of racism. Such is the skill of these modern diviners, that they can find racism where no one else even suspected it might exist.

A demonstration of their skill came recently when they identified the hidden racism in an Intel advertisement (pictured), forcing Intel to withdraw the advert, and issue a grovelling apology. As readers will see from the picture, the advert features a company boss, surrounded by six sprinters in the starting position. There is also a caption, reading "Multiply computing performance and maximise the power of your employees".
What renders this advert "racist", is that the boss is white, and the sprinters are all black. And, while neither of the two websites that have led the campaign against the advert have really bothered to spell out what it is that they don't like about it, I would surmise that there are two possible objections.
The first is that all the sprinters are black, and this is stereotyping. To this I would say, that it is hardly unrepresentative. Take a look at the fastest sprinters of all time: they do tend to be black, don't they? It's hardly racist to acknowledge this. Of course, Intel could, no doubt, have found a few white, yellow, green, and blue sprinters to stick in their advert. But, it seems to me that that would have been symptomatic of a ridiculous tokenism. Indeed, I would say that putting a white sprinter into the advert, simply because he was white, would come considerably closer to being racist than the advert is at present. But then, the race relations industry, and those who support it, have always endorsed tokenism of this kind. That's why Hollywood films have all those black judges, police chiefs (but never corrupt ones), scientists, and US presidents, and why Morgan Freeman has a career. It may seem ludicrous to us, but then what do we know about divining?

The second complaint seems even more ridiculous. It is that the sprinters appear to be bowing down before the boss. And of course, he's white, and they're black, and therefore...it's racist! Yes, and the fact that sprinters do tend to crouch down in that manner just before the starting pistol fires has, of course, absolutely nothing to do with it. It's racism, plain and simple!

Personally, I think that the claims made about this advert say rather more about those making the claim than they do about Intel. After all, I am not aware that anyone has suggested that Intel actually sought to associate the black sprinters in the advert with submission or slavery. Rather, the notion that 'black equals subservient' is something that the makers of the allegations have managed to come up with all on their own. I would also point out, once again, that those alleging "racism" against the adverts have not sought to justify their claim, but have merely made it, and invited agreement.

But of course, any objections I might raise against the claims of "racism" are inevitably going to be wrong. For they are merely based on such trivial things as logical reasoning. And the modern diviners have never felt the need to back up anything they may say with anything so vulgar as evidence or logic. Their magical powers are all the basis they need on which to allege racism, and, once racism is alleged by a diviner, it is also proved.